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and the world keeps spinning in triangles. [Jun. 28th, 2005|09:48 pm]
when I'm around you, and you're talking to me, I never listen. I'd rather sit and stare at you, studying the way you talk, the breaths you take in between conversation, and your facial expressions. I've memorized them, and I know. I just sometimes wonder what he's thinking, why he zones out so frequently, why he randomly smiles, why he doesn't smile as much as he used to... why I would still try to impress him after so many years, and why everything stays the same. I wonder... is that my fault?

earlier today I felt insanely horrible. the kind of horrible that I wanted to cry because boys are the oddest human beings to ever grace the planet. I guess I'm just not used to change, as in thing not staying the same, as in me and shay's relationship. Where he calls me every day at 2:30, right before he goes to algebra class, and about 9:30 or 10 every night to tell me about his day (if we didn't spend it together.) things have changed since I started hanging out with his ex-girfriend, I've come to the conclusion she used me.

to get to him.
and it hurts, I wanted to be her friend. but little things have been happening lately that really make me question he motives.

first of all, why in the world did I have a party with her? I do not know. but she talked me into that... shay had left for dance camp a week before our party, and the night he came back, she was over... to stay the night, get her hair dyed and helf set up for the party. guess what color she dyed her hair? and guess how she wanted it cut... the exact same haircut as mine. NO lie. we look like bopsy twins.

but anyway, the night he got back he called me right away, and wanted to come over... but no one would take him so I got haley to do it. but I forgot to tell her that he told me his mom would bring him later, so she ended up just leaving to get him and he came to my house and surprised me with a big hug and presents.

then he asked me to trim his hair, and brooke was in my room when he said "man, I'm so glad to be home" and I said "yes, I am too, you were missed by me"
and he said "I tried to like, not think about... like... well, you. but about the 3rd day I told my friend 'man, I miss hope, and can't wait to go back home'"

that upsetted her, she was weird the whole night and the next day. and she was also upset when she found the note he left me before he left.

the worst part is I wanted to go garage saling for my birthday, this saturday. and I told her that. so I woke up at 7 and called shay and zane said brooke came by at 6:30 to take him. I was hurt... that she would back stab me like that.

I ended up calling her, and she dropped shay off at my house. then she ended up coming anyway.


I hate girls.

[User Picture]From: secckimmo
2005-06-29 03:48 am (UTC)
Yeah... girls are stupid. They're so... catty.

So, I never really knew.. are you and Shay together? I've gotten hints, but since we never talk I don't know officially :(
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[User Picture]From: onionman15
2005-06-29 05:46 am (UTC)
face it. hope left us. nobody really talks to her.
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[User Picture]From: slimj
2005-06-29 04:44 am (UTC)
why do girls hate on each other so much? Us guys we just chill and get amused at the cat fights. But you know what? you shouldnt let some guy make you cry, you're too great for that. Someday the right one will come and you'll have 50 babies!
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[User Picture]From: secckimmo
2005-06-29 08:07 am (UTC)
Girls 'hate on each other' so much because girls are the stupid and bitchy who use each other to get the guy (or anything else they want, really...), like in Hope's case. That, and most girls are just airheaded fakes that like to stab each other in the back for a moment of glory and self-accomplishment.

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[User Picture]From: slimj
2005-06-29 01:24 pm (UTC)
"A true friend stabs you in the front!"
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[User Picture]From: secckimmo
2005-06-29 09:28 pm (UTC)
Yes, that is indeed true. But what you don't understand is even though girls say that, at that exact moment it sometimes seems as if they are plotting their exact way of stabbing you in the back.

At least, that's my experience.
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[User Picture]From: hopeynella
2005-06-30 04:23 pm (UTC)
me and shay are just... me and shay. its hard to explain. its an off and on, we like eachother at times, we call eachother bestest friends. its complicated. its that kinda "we're getting married *when im 19, and he's 21)" but we're never going to date...

get it? lol I don't really get it either, no worries...

oh and I never left... where would I go? we just all sorta drifted. I'm always around and there are always different places to find me

online, you know.

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