|and the world keeps spinning in triangles.
||[Jun. 28th, 2005|09:48 pm]
when I'm around you, and you're talking to me, I never listen. I'd rather sit and stare at you, studying the way you talk, the breaths you take in between conversation, and your facial expressions. I've memorized them, and I know. I just sometimes wonder what he's thinking, why he zones out so frequently, why he randomly smiles, why he doesn't smile as much as he used to... why I would still try to impress him after so many years, and why everything stays the same. I wonder... is that my fault?|
earlier today I felt insanely horrible. the kind of horrible that I wanted to cry because boys are the oddest human beings to ever grace the planet. I guess I'm just not used to change, as in thing not staying the same, as in me and shay's relationship. Where he calls me every day at 2:30, right before he goes to algebra class, and about 9:30 or 10 every night to tell me about his day (if we didn't spend it together.) things have changed since I started hanging out with his ex-girfriend, I've come to the conclusion she used me.
to get to him.
and it hurts, I wanted to be her friend. but little things have been happening lately that really make me question he motives.
first of all, why in the world did I have a party with her? I do not know. but she talked me into that... shay had left for dance camp a week before our party, and the night he came back, she was over... to stay the night, get her hair dyed and helf set up for the party. guess what color she dyed her hair? and guess how she wanted it cut... the exact same haircut as mine. NO lie. we look like bopsy twins.
but anyway, the night he got back he called me right away, and wanted to come over... but no one would take him so I got haley to do it. but I forgot to tell her that he told me his mom would bring him later, so she ended up just leaving to get him and he came to my house and surprised me with a big hug and presents.
then he asked me to trim his hair, and brooke was in my room when he said "man, I'm so glad to be home" and I said "yes, I am too, you were missed by me"
and he said "I tried to like, not think about... like... well, you. but about the 3rd day I told my friend 'man, I miss hope, and can't wait to go back home'"
that upsetted her, she was weird the whole night and the next day. and she was also upset when she found the note he left me before he left.
the worst part is I wanted to go garage saling for my birthday, this saturday. and I told her that. so I woke up at 7 and called shay and zane said brooke came by at 6:30 to take him. I was hurt... that she would back stab me like that.
I ended up calling her, and she dropped shay off at my house. then she ended up coming anyway.
I hate girls.